Updated: 10/23/2014:
Every now and again, one needs to revisit and older posting. This was first posted by be back in 2012. The posting is about events over thirty or so years ago.
Today a friend of mine, I’ll call him Tim, because that’s his name led me to a YouTube Video of a simple answering machine somewhere down-under. I cannot verify if this video is legit, but it’s funny anyway.
Read this post through and then you’ll see the new video at the tail end.
It’s well worth the read and the viewing. (in my humble opinion)
It was in the late eighties when we lived in Adjala Township north of Toronto. Cheryl was teaching math and science in Orangeville, Ontario.
The school was introducing “new technology” and a “Telephone Answering Machine” was set up to record messages from parents to allow them to phone in absence or other important information about their kids. Things like:
- Sally won’t be in today because she has a sore pendicks.
- My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. Today. Please execute him.
- Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
- Please excuse Roland from P.E. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
- John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
Well, and it came to pass that a female student started calling in and leaving long messages complaining about some of her teachers. The school principal asked the school secretary to begin saving the tapes. After a few had been collected the teachers about whom the voice complained about were invited to the principal’s office to listen and attempt to identify the voice. They managed to narrow it down to one or two girls.
The parents of these two girls were called in to listen and identify the voice.
The voice’s mom dropped by and listened to a couple of the tapes and and then announced, “That’s not my Tiffany, that’s not the way she says Fuck!”
The video from down under.
Some more funnies if you have the time.
- My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. Today. Please execute him.
- Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
- Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
- Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
- Please excuse Roland from P.E. For a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
- John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
- Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
- Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
- Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
- Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
- Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the shits. [words in ( )’S were crossed out.]
- Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
- Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
- Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
- I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wear.
- Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.
- Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
- My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
- Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
- Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
- Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
- Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
- Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
- Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor…
Stolen from << HERE >>
