IT CAN BE HARD KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE AS A COURT REPORTER ! These are from a book called ‘Disorder in the American Courts’, and are things people actually stated in Court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
A cold Monday morning! Most times Turkey is smoother and pours easier than this! My friend sent me this email! “I had to go to Harrison(Michigan) this morning and saw this Coke truck sitting on the side of the road. When I got close to it I could see what was wrong and turned around to
I received a note from a lady friend and felt that I should share it with a few others! I did find that this story has been around the interweb for a while. It’s funny to those of us reading it for the first time! OK – yes it’s long BUT it’s funny as HELL!!!!
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn’t have a lot of money. Between them they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said ‘Hang on, I have an idea.’ He went next door to the butcher’s shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said ‘Are you crazy?
While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, “Your Honor, I’m guilty but . . . there were extenuating circumstances.” The female Judge said, sarcastically, “I’d certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances.” I did too, soooo I listened as the lady
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman Said to her friend, “Let’s go over to that bar for a drink.” The lady with the Chihuahua said, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got
A politician was seated next to a young girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would
I’m invincible and nothing can happen to me. I’ve felt that way since I was a teenager. It’s funny how your mind can change after you’ve been in hospital for a week with blood clots in the lungs that probably migrated from the legs. On Sunday March 12th my brother-in-law passed away in Orlando Florida
Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.. The next day he drove up and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey’s died.’ Paddy replied, ‘Well then just give me my money back.’ The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that.
A young woman following her wedding placed a footlocker at the foot of the bed and locked it. The husband asked many times “What’s the footlocker for?” and she refused to answer, saying that he would be told, “… all in good time.” After fifty years of marriage a couple decided to go to the first