Republican or Democrat – Explained

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Chris Cane

My apologies to those that can’t make up their mind as to which column to agree with. I may have left and right screwed up again.

If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Democrats demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his
If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A Democrat will delete it because he’s “offended”.

If a Democrat is opposed to abortion, she doesn’t have one. If a Republican is opposed to abortion, he tries to ban them for everyone except his wife.
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, it’s because he wants better treatment for animals. If a Republican is a vegetarian, it’s because he works for Monsanto.
If a Democrat is homosexual, he supports equality for other homosexuals. If a Republican is homosexual, he leads a gay life in secret while hypocritically condemning that lifestyle in public.
If a Democrat is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. If a Republican is down-and-out, he blames his situation on Democrats.
If a Democrat doesn’t like a television show, he switches channels. If a Republican doesn’t like a television show, he launches a boycott to get the program cancelled so that no one else can watch it.
If a Democrat is religious, he quietly prays in private, as Jesus said one should. If a Republican is religious, he demands that everyone be forced to pray along with him.
If a Democrat needs health care, he seeks to ensure that health care is accessible to everyone else as well. A Republican buys stock in an HMO and campaigns against affordable health care.
If a Democrat reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A Republican will attempt to have the sender arrested.