- Raising Cane
  • Home
  • Random Post
  • About
  • BUCOLIC SCENES
  • Offensive Stuff
    • Hi Google Commands
  • Videos
    • Just Kids
    • Opening Night
    • Just Kids – 1986 – June (Hockley Church)
    • Just Kids – Tribute – Final Show
    • 1989 Amy’s Grade School Graduation
    • The Full Duck
    • Summer 1987
    • M.I.S. Behavin – Michigan Speedway
    • Route 66 – Chicago to St. Louis
    • April Fools Day 2007
    • Saint Paddies Day 2007
  • Contact Me
Home » Humor » Republican or Democrat – Explained

Republican or Democrat – Explained

Posted on February 1, 2013 by Chris Cane

elephant_donkey

My apologies to those that can’t make up their mind as to which column to agree with. I may have left and right screwed up again.

  • If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
  • If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
  • If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
  • If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him.
  • If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Democrats demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
  • If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
  • If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his
  • If a Republican reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A Democrat will delete it because he’s “offended”.
  • If a Democrat is opposed to abortion, she doesn’t have one. If a Republican is opposed to abortion, he tries to ban them for everyone except his wife.
  • If a Democrat is a vegetarian, it’s because he wants better treatment for animals. If a Republican is a vegetarian, it’s because he works for Monsanto.
  • If a Democrat is homosexual, he supports equality for other homosexuals. If a Republican is homosexual, he leads a gay life in secret while hypocritically condemning that lifestyle in public. 
  • If a Democrat is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. If a Republican is down-and-out, he blames his situation on Democrats. 
  • If a Democrat doesn’t like a television show, he switches channels. If a Republican doesn’t like a television show, he launches a boycott to get the program cancelled so that no one else can watch it. 
  • If a Democrat is religious, he quietly prays in private, as Jesus said one should. If a Republican is religious, he demands that everyone be forced to pray along with him. 
  • If a Democrat needs health care, he seeks to ensure that health care is accessible to everyone else as well. A Republican buys stock in an HMO and campaigns against affordable health care. 
  • If a Democrat reads this, he’ll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh. A Republican will attempt to have the sender arrested.
   

 

Share Button
Tweet

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Print
  • Email
Posted in Humor, My Life, Rare Miscellany | Tags: HMO, television |
« Did the Jews really have problems with their genitals?
Hell Hath Frozen Over »

Search Me

Select a Category

  • Amjo Related (2)
  • Bastards (2)
  • Computing (12)
  • Humor (321)
  • Might be true! (26)
  • My Life (219)
  • Pure Bullshit (10)
  • Rare Miscellany (105)
  • True Stuff (21)
  • Useful Stuff (16)

Got comments?

  • Rick Quinn on My Colonoscopy Journal
  • David Frederick Read on Introducing “The Goose”
  • Chris Cane on I stood by your bed last night.
  • Colleen on I stood by your bed last night.
  • Katy B on The Elopement of Chris and Cheryl
June 2022
M T W T F S S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Jan    

Stuff I said!

The contents of this blog and website are not designed to slander or hurt anybody of any race or creed. I sometimes laugh at myself or even a friend or five. If you feel you have been slighted in any way whatsoever, please let me know so I can change what was said.

Take a Gander At:

  • Offensive-stuff
  • A Bucolic-scene
  • Contact me at chris@canetech.com or my contact page.
  • Home
  • Random Post
  • About
  • BUCOLIC SCENES
  • Offensive Stuff
  • Videos
  • Contact Me
© - Raising Cane and Other Stuff