Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known.
Read on to smile at some of his witticisms.
Some of his sayings:
- Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
- Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
- There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- Always drink upstream from the herd.
- If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
- There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
- Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
- Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
- After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER…
- First ~Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
- Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
- Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.
- Fourth ~ When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
- Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
- Sixth ~ I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
- Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.
- Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
- Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
- Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.
And, finally ~ If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.