The highways of America can indeed be dangerous places to drive. We’re going at high speeds and it’s easy to become distracted.
This morning, I looked over to see a beautiful woman in a brand new Cadillac, doing about 65 mph with her face next to the rear view mirror applying makeup. As I stared at her, somewhat amazed by her actions, I noticed that she was on her cell phone and had a cup of coffee or tea in the other hand. I was trying to figure out how she was steering the car as I looked away for a couple seconds to continue shaving. When I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don’t scare easily. But she scared me so much; I had to put on my seat belt and I dropped my electric shaver which knocked the doughnut from my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, I knocked my cell phone off my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs!
Shit! It splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, and soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.
Damn those women drivers!