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Category Archives: Rare Miscellany
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and … inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact: ” Marion … Marion ” “Is that you, Bob?” “Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.” “That’s wonderful! What’s it like?” “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have … Continue reading
Click the Orange Button with the White Arrow to listen to the 1923 Recording. I won’t bother with the Google of 2013 as I’m sure you know that one! . Who’s the most important man this country ever knew? Who’s the man our Presidents tell all their troubles to? No, it isn’t Mr. Bryan, and it isn’t Mr. Hughes. I’m might proud that I’m allowed a chance to introduce: Barney Google, with the goo-goo-goo-ga-ly eyes. Barney Google had a wife 3 times his size. She’s soon parting for divorce, now he’s living with his horse. Barney Google, with the goo-goo-goo-ga-ly eyes. Who’s the greatest lover that this country ever … Continue reading
A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed. The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely ‘impeckable’ (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called ‘impeckable’ tree almost without breaking a sweat. Both woodpeckers were now … Continue reading
Federal Avian Pathologist’s Report – Crow learns that 200 of his friends have passed away ignominiously.
With all of today’s newscasters telling us about the flu epidemic and the hundreds who may die, a story has come to light one that Doctor Doom cannot possibly make up. It is not a pretty story…. it concerns over 200 Dead Crows being found on the highways around Boston. The first report came from the City Health Dept. was that the birds probably died of Avian Flu. . . the City was in panic mode.
For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.
I don’t think you don’t have to be Catholic to appreciate this one!! A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. One of the store clerks called 911 when she saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard. She was loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. “Do you have health insurance?” she … Continue reading
Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided that he really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, he saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor. So, he went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for him. A few days later, when the robe was finished, Jesus tried it on — and it was a perfect fit!
I do hope that this will finally quash the debate regarding the facts of evolution and the crap about creationism. The proof given below is incontrovertible. Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
Hell, as explained by a chemistry student. The following is believed to be an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
My apologies to those that can’t make up their mind as to which column to agree with. I may have left and right screwed up again. If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him. … Continue reading