Over to our table came a fifty-year-old mini-skirted waitress whose hips were as wide as our table. Her mini-skirt was less than flattering. Legs tapering from battleship width to her shoe size were not a pretty site. Cheryl and I ordered and we waited as the kids pored over their menus. Gladys, or whatever her name was, our waitress, was getting more and more impatient and the seconds were ticking by. Disaster was about to strike.

After less than about a minute, she looked at our two daughters whose ages totaled less than ten at the time. “Hurry up! Do you think I’ve got all f*&^%$#g day?”

Only in New York!

Only in New York is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

Trivial Pursuit Game

The origins of the TRIVIAL PURSUIT® game can be traced back to a blustery day in Montreal, December 15, 1979, when two friends, Scott Abbott, sports editor with the Canadian Press and Chris Haney, photo editor for the Montreal Gazette, engaged in a friendly argument over who was the better game player. This led to the friends creating a board game of their own. It was introduced in early 1982. After numerous setbacks and hard times, things finally began to go their way. Chieftain Products Ltd. became their Canadian distributor beginning October 1, 1982, and in 1983, Horn Abbot introduced the TRIVIAL PURSUIT® game to the Selchow & Righter game company for the United States market. The result? In 1984 alone, over 20 million games were sold. (Paraphrased from www.trivialpursuit.com)

For me it was 1984, Cheryl and I had bought our first Trivial Pursuit game, and we’d moved to Utah. The game was played day after day, weekend after weekend amongst our new friends in Utah.

In 1984, I hopped on a plane and flew to Australia for a business trip. While in Sydney, I was invited to stay at the home of Peter, Gabrielle and Anna Kirkwood. Peter was Varian’s sales manager Down Under, and I was a product manager for Varian’s Eimac division in Salt Lake City. Gabrielle was Peter’s gracious wife and Anna, their new daughter, was a few months old.

I really enjoyed the trip and their home. Where we might see sparrows, ravens, robins and blackbirds in our backyard, their backyard had parrots, mynah birds, cockatoos and other exotic birds.

Peter and I visited several customers and as our week was coming to a close, Peter and Gabrielle took me to Balmoral Beach or Immoral Beach, the locals called it Immoral Beach as many of its sun bathers were nude. From there we went to a seaside resort to fill out the week. As we sauntered past some boutiques, I happened to notice a game box of, you guessed it, Trivial Pursuit in a store window. I pointed it out to Peter and Gabriella, and they had not yet heard of it. I decided to buy them a copy as a thank-you gift from a Canadian living in the USA visiting Australia.

That evening we cracked open the box. A couple of friends of Peter and Gabrielle dropped in and we played Trivial Pursuit. I figured I was in no danger of losing as by now I’d been playing for many months.

I lost abysmally! The Aussies were just too damned intelligent for me. Perhaps it was because their knowledge of Australia was better than mine. That day the questions were about Australian Geography, Australian Sports and Leisure, Australian History and Australian TV and Movies!

How was I to know that those clever game making people had made an Australian version for the Down Under market?

Something not so Trivial in Australia – is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

Kampei

Kampei is a traditional toast in Japan. Where we might say Cheers! or Bottoms Up!, the Japanese typically say Kampei or “Empty Glass”.

Throughout the eighties and nineties I traveled extensively in the Far East and Europe. It was tradition in Japan for us to meet at the end of the week in our rep’s conference room for a wrap-up of the week’s activities. One particular Friday in the early eighties I was working for Eimac, then a division of Varian. We had had a particularly successful week. The meeting started a little early and was to be a celebration. John Button, also from Eimac, was just beginning his travels in Japan and had arrived in Tokyo from Taiwan or Korea. He was to stay over the weekend and travel with our rep the following week.

My week had gone very well, and we had booked some great orders. This Friday’s review meeting in Marubun’s conference room was to be a small celebration. The room filled with about 10 people, some were support staff, others were Marubun sales reps with whom I had traveled that week. The two outsiders were John and me.

The branch manager, Masa Horikoshi opened a small cabinet at the front of their conference room and out came a bottle of Suntory Whiskey. 

Masa filled each of our glasses, and a toast was proclaimed in memory of the great week, nine of us said Kampei and returned our glasses to the table.

John Button had not touched his glass.

Masa said, “John, you have not drunk your whiskey?”

John replied, “I’m sorry, but I don’t drink.”

Masa came right back with, “Why don’t you drink?”

John simply said, “I would just prefer not to drink.”

Masa undaunted, “There must be a reason why you don’t drink!”

John confided, “I am a member of the Mormon Church, and we do not drink alcohol.”

Masa was incredulous, “John, Do Mormons live longer than other Americans?”

John quietly replied, “Yes, the average Mormon man lives about two and one half years longer than other American men.”

Masa reached across the table and took John’s glass.

With John’s glass of whisky still in Masa’s hand, Masa remained inquisitive, “Two and a half years?”, long pause, “Two and a half years?”, another pause, “at the end of your life?. It’s not worth it!”, pause, “Kampei!” and John’s glass was now empty.

Kampei or Bottoms Up – Japan Style is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWrj9TaA0Mc

To watch on Youtube see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWrj9TaA0Mc

Grandma ‘Mrs Hughes’ Comedy is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

Automotive Air Conditioner

Here’s a little factoid for automotive buffs or just to dazzle your friends.

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner.

On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford’s office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.

The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, ‘The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,’ on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg’s name on two million Fords.

They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show — Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max — on the controls.

The Goldberg Brothers – The Inventors of the Automobile Air Conditioner is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

Many years ago, I’m guessing in the early seventies, Cheryl and I were visiting my folks and something unexpected happened!

Who would have guessed that by teaching her daughter-in-law to cook sausage rolls could backfire and blacken a Christmas dinner. My Mother made great sausage rolls, and she passed her recipe down to Cheryl many years ago. It was Christmas and Cheryl, the daughter-in-law, was elected to cook the sausage rolls. With a little help from my Mum, the deed was done.

The table was laid and the plate of Cheryl’s sausage rolls was placed in front of my Dad. I grabbed one as did Dad. He opened his mouth and took a mouth watering bite. With half of his sausage roll still in his hand, he turned and complimented his wife of over forty years by say, “Dear! These are the best sausage rolls you’ve ever made.”

He would never live that down!

So far, I have not done a faux pas of that magnitude but it might happen one day!

The Faux Pas of The Sausage Rolls is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

As she reached the farm yard she saw cows and horses that appeared to have been groomed within the last few minutes. The place was spotless, the barns were red and the doors outlines in white that made the farm simply beautiful.

As she stopped the car, she noticed a sight that surprised her, it was a three legged pig that was simply filthy and not walking very well. It took a step or two and fell over. She guessed that the filth on the pig was a result of it falling over, time and time again.

She knocks on the farmhouse door to interview the farmer. He appeared in the doorway, as expected in clean, freshly ironed bib overalls. She complimented the farmer on the amazing farm and asked if he would agree to an interview and allow her to take a few photos for the paper. He agreed.

As the interview continued she finally asked about the three legged pig. The farmer said “That there pig is a family pet and he’s really smart. We’ve taught him all kinds of tricks, like ‘Roll Over,’ ‘Sit’ and ‘Fetch.’ As to that last trick, ah kin be sittin’ on our front pouch and when the weekly newspaper comes, ah jest tells the pig to ‘Fetch’ and he goes gits the paper and brings it to me.”

“Wow!” exclaims the reporter. “That pig sure is smart.”

“Not only is he smart, but he’s somethin’ of a hero,” the farmer tells her.

“What do you mean a ‘hero?’” she asks.

“Well,” says the farmer. “That there pig, being the family pet, sleeps at the foot of our bed. One night when we were all sleepin’, a fire breaks out in our farmhouse. The pig started squealin’ and fussin’ and wakes us all up so we were able to git out of the house.”

“That’s truly astounding,” says the reporter. “It’s unbelievable.”

“But you ain’t heard the whole story,” the farmer replies. “We all git out of the fire that night except my baby girl. That wonderful pig went back in the burning farmhouse and dragged the little one to safety and saved her life.”

“And the pig lost his leg because it was burned in the fire?” asks the reporter.

“Well, not exactly,” answered the farmer. “Ya’ see, a pig like that, one that is so smart, so heroic,  so valuable. You don’t eat a pig like that all at once!”

Porcine Immaculata or The Three Legged Pig Story is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

I decided to keep up and my speedometer was now around 80 and I was a little uncomfortable, as I would have no defense were I to meet a gendarme and try to explain the chicken! As luck would have it, we entered a small village, the chicken slowed to a crawl and turned right. I followed only to be greeted by a bar across the road and I watched incredulously as the chicken disappeared into the distance.

I stopped at the bar across the road and got out to chat with a hayseed farmer at the barrier.

I asked “Did you see that chicken?”

He said “Yah!”

I said “Did you see that it had three legs?”

He said “Yah!”

I said “Have you seen it before?”

He said “Yah!”

I said “Where does it come from?”

He said “I raise three legged chickens.”

I asked “Why?”

He said “Well I have one son and my wife likes a chicken leg, my son likes a chicken leg and I like a chicken leg so it seemed practical.”

I asked “How do they taste?

He said “Dunno, I never caught one!”

The other day I was driving a country road a little north of here in my Z4M

The Three Legged Chicken is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

With microphone in hand Larry gave us an overview of what baseball was and how it’s played. He did a fair job of explaining the game and its rules. He then went on to give the guys (most of us were guys, imagine that) an explanation of the unique way in which men entered and used the urinals at Wrigley Field. He explained that the urinals were long stainless steel troughs, perhaps twenty five feet or so in length along the wall. He went on to explain that it was very important to line up, get ready (he recommended pulling down the zipper while in line)  and then take your place at the left hand end of the trough, if it was busy, he warned that the men at the trough would move to the right while tinkling and you had to be finished before you reached the right hand end of the trough. If you were not finished then you had to struggle to freeze the stream and re-enter the line at the left hand end of the the trough.

Larry then went on to explain the technique one would use to negotiate for the purchase of beer in the stands. He explained that the beer salespeople would be carrying large trays of beer in cans and that they would be wearing a large button with the beer price marked on it. As it turned out, the buttons displayed in large print that the price was $4.00. Larry told his audience that the price displayed was an ‘asking’ price and that seasoned fans would always negotiate a better price. Larry told everyone that is sales were slow then they could expect to buy beer for $2.00 perhaps less. Remember, many of our visitors were from countries where bargaining is more common than here in the USA. It was pandemonium in the stands when the first beer salesman showed up and our sales manager from France whose English was less than perfect began to negotiate ….

Got a similar tale? Let me hear it!

Here’s something you don’t want to watch

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGmrWGBS_8Y

The Sales Meeting and the Trip to Wrigley Field is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog

Cheryl and I were traveling back from the west coast with a group of roadsters. We were on an amazing life changing tour that we called the Roving Roadsters Route 66 Tour. Thirteen people in eight roadsters made the journey to LA, three Z3s, three Z4′s and a couple of Pesky Porsches.

To see some photos of our trip see http://rovingroadsters.com/photo-czr66-outbound.htm and http://rovingroadsters.com/photo-czr66-homeward-bound.htm

The tour took us from Chicago to Los Angeles where we turned right, visited Monterey, San Francisco, Napa Valley and then headed east via Modesto, Yosemite, Lake Tahoe, Several national parks in Utah and Colorado and headed home. Cheryl and I completed 17 days and 17 nights, stayed in 17 different hotels and completed 7,700 miles. I think we had our top up only for a few miles in Arizona when the temperature hit 113 degrees.

As usual I am digressing. It was at Bryce Canyon in Utah that our tale of re-tiring begins. It was midafternoon and the five remaining roadsters were at Bryce Canyon National Park in Utah. We had lost a couple of roadsters in LA and San Francisco as their owners wanted to visit with friends and family. In Bryce Canyon is where we lost a rear tire on our Z4. Inspection revealed that the tire was essentially shredded and irreparable. We were fortunate in some ways as we were driving at about 35 mph when the tire blew. Our Z4 carried no spare and our fix-a-flat gizmo and tire pump was useless.

Summoning help was a challenge as there was no cell phone service. After we waited for a couple of hours for a park ranger, we gave up waiting, Larry and Carol headed to the ranger station about a dozen miles away to learn that the rangers stop patrolling the canyon at about 4:00 PM.  At about 4:30 PM, a ranger showed up, he radioed to the ranger station and a tow truck was dispatched from a tire dealer in the town of Bryce. I believe we got back to Bryce with the Z4 on a tow truck at about 5:30 PM. After a few phone calls to BMW Assistance, BMW wanted to tow the car to Henderson NV or Salt Lake City, each about 300 miles away to have it inspected and repaired. This would have cost us several days of touring time. We chose the challenging way out. The tire dealer was also a Hertz Car Rental dealer.

A car was rented at about 6:30 or so and Cheryl and I headed for Salt Lake City planning to find a tire in Salt Lake and drive back. Exhausted and tired we stopped in a motel just south of Salt lake just after mid-night. We fell asleep in thirty seconds or less. Awaking early we headed to the BMW dealer south of Salt Lake City. While parked in the BMW Dealer’s lot until about 8:30 AM when they opened to learn that they did not have our tire in stock. A few phone calls later, we found a sympathetic Sears store that was able to get tires for us. Their warehouse was on the north west side of Salt Lake and we were on the south east side and it was rush hour! We decided to pay for the tires and drive to their warehouse and get the tires. Breaking a few speed limits, we managed to be back in Bryce with the tires installed and balanced by about 3:00 PM.

Our friends, remember them, had traveled on towards Mesa Verde National park in Colorado, passing through Capitol Reef, Glen Canyon and Natural Bridges National Parks. Now we had to catch up somehow. We had driven about 300 miles already that day in the rental car and now we had about 400 miles ahead of us to get to Mesa Verde to catch up with the other roadsters.

The first hundred miles or so, we took it easy to allow the new tires to settle on the rims and soon we were speeding across Utah at undisclosed speeds in our attempt to catch up. By about 6:30 or 7:00 we had reached Blanding Utah about 280 miles from Bryce and we now had cell coverage, as we were leaving Blanding, Cheryl called our friends to learn that they were about 10 miles behind us, enjoying dinner in Blanding. We did a U-turn, our first for the day, to join them for dessert and a snack and off we went as a convoy to Mesa Verde. The others had enjoyed some stops along the way to see the riches of Utah. Cheryl and I had simply seen a blur. We had lived in Utah in the eighties and seen it all before, but we would have liked to see it again!

Re-tiring in Utah was a challenge.

Re-Tiring in Utah (Roving Roadster Style) is a post from: Chris Cane's Blog