Search Cane Blog
Select a Category
Category Archives: My Life
After filing their personal tax returns by April 15th, many Americans will again receive a tax refund. This is indeed a very exciting program, and we will explain it in a Q & A format: Q. What is a tax refund payment? A. It’s money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q.. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. … Continue reading
The Dead Horse Theory The tribal wisdom of the Plains Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that “When you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount.” However, in government more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: Buying a stronger whip. Changing riders. Appointing a committee to study the horse. Arranging to visit other countries to see how other cultures ride dead horses. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included. Reclassifying the dead horse as living-impaired. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase speed. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase … Continue reading
Caution: The the article below may not be suitable for viewing by children, nursing mothers, parish priests, Facebook fanatics, meteorologists, ski related producers and resort owners, makers of 4WD vehicle’s, snow shoe manufactures, road salt producers, winter garment manufacturers, cold remedies and lip balm pharmaceutical producers, central heating fuel supply and service companies, state and community road plow operators, stuffed toy animal makers, and animal rights advocates. If you believe in Global Warming or perhaps a Member of Doctors Without Borders then you should avoid this article. If you are member of the “Brigitte Bardot Foundation“, supporter of the ASPCA, “Friends of Nature”, PETA (See Note 1) or Greenpeace should click … Continue reading
Being nervous, and embarrassed about my upcoming colonoscopy on a recommendation I decided to have it done while visiting friends in San Francisco, where the beautiful nurses are allegedly more gentle and accommodating. As I lay naked on my side on the table, the gorgeous nurse began my procedure. “Don’t worry, at this stage of the procedure it’s quite normal to get an erection,” the nurse told me.
Jesus was wandering around Jerusalem when he decided that he really needed a new robe. After looking around for a while, he saw a sign for Finkelstein, the Tailor. So, he went in and made the necessary arrangements to have Finkelstein prepare a new robe for him. A few days later, when the robe was finished, Jesus tried it on — and it was a perfect fit!
I do hope that this will finally quash the debate regarding the facts of evolution and the crap about creationism. The proof given below is incontrovertible. Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
We were dressed and ready to go out for a Dinner & Theater evening. We turned on a ‘night light’, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local taxi company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to get at the parakeet.
Hell, as explained by a chemistry student. The following is believed to be an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
My apologies to those that can’t make up their mind as to which column to agree with. I may have left and right screwed up again. If a Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him. … Continue reading
A man asked a woman in a university library: “Do you mind if I sit beside you?” She replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!” All the students in the library started staring at them; he was truly embarrassed. After a couple of minutes, the woman walked quietly to the man’s table and said: “I study psychology, and I know what a man is thinking. I guess you felt embarrassed, right? The guy then responded with a loud voice: “$500 FOR ONE NIGHT? No Way!” All the people in the library looked at the woman in shock. The man whispered in her ear: … Continue reading