Author Archive
Zachary Rike Disease
March 5th, 2010 | 
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Jim, a friend of mine went recently to his doctor. Jim’s doctor is of Chinese descent and talks with an amusing accent. Jim was complaining that recently, some of his friends were laughing at him, saying that he was becoming ugly. He was not amused and sought medical advice as he was noticing some major changes in his facial features.
Dr. Chu told him to strip, and kneel on the floor. Puzzled? My friends did what he was told. The the doctor asked him to crawl towards the wall, turn around and crawl back. He did this and as you might imagine was quite puzzled. The doctor had him do this a couple more times and told him to get dressed.
They returned to the doctors office and desk and the doctor finally plucked up the courage to tell Jim that he was suffering from Zachary Rike Disease. Jim asked, “What the heck is Zachary Rike Disease?” Dr. Chu told him that he had a very special condition (say this out loud) “Your face looks zachary rike your ass!”
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My Annual Apology – Thanks Tiger Woods!
After watching Tiger Woods yesterday on TV I realize that I too should apologize for some of my actions over the last year.
Over the past year I realize how much I have offended some people because I have forwarded some inappropriate pictures and jokes to friends who I thought shared the same sense of humor, or that they had friends who would enjoy being forwarded said same piece.
Unfortunately this wasn’t the case and I seem to have upset quite a few people who have accused me of being sexist, crude and shallow. If you were one of these people, please accept my sincerest apologies.
From now on I will only post or send e-mails with a cultural or educational content – such as classical art and architecture, nature and other interesting topics. Below is a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris .
It is the oldest bridge in Paris and took 26 years to build.It was completed in 1604.
Damn! Where did she come from?
Do you know where Bockwurst comes from?
Not that many years ago. Well it was before the advent of the internet being available on a cell phone or perhaps the internet was not available at all. My guess is that this memory is from the mid 1990’s.
I was being driven across the German countryside by a good friend named Klaus Wenske. Klaus knows that I like German sausage, and many times he would introduce me to a new wurst. Germany has the best wurst. That day it was Bockwurst. We stopped for lunch at a roadside diner and enjoyed some Bockwurst on a bun with mustard. It was great lunch which included a Bock Beer. I asked Klaus if Bock Beer and Bockwurst had the same origins. He was not sure. He explained that the Bock Beer got its name from the male deer with antlers on the bottle (we say Buck and they say Bock).
Poltergeist – The Scary Movie – A family true story!
Things you read, smell, taste, trip over, find or see can trigger memories of days gone by. This posting was triggered when one of my kids sent me a message on FaceBook that Zelda Rubinstein, who played the medium, Tangina in Poltergeist had passed away. She was a small medium.
For this story, it was circa 1984 and we living in Salt Lake City. I had transferred within Varian to become their product manager for power grid tubes at the Eimac division in Salt Lake. Our new home, well new to us came with cable TV with several premium channels including HBO. It was kind of comical because in "those days" the control of which channels were visible in the home were determined by which traps and filters were installed by the cable installer. Since the advent of digital cable, those days are far behind us. The previous owner of our home must have paid for several premium channels and the cable TV company had not come out and changed the installation. We received several premium channels. The comical thing was that every few months during the years we lived in Salt Lake, the cable company would call and ask us if we wanted to "upgrade" our cable service and get some premium channels. We of course graciously declined their kind offers. We felt that paying for an upgrade would degrade our service.
Is it your time to die? This guy lives to see another day!
When Its Not Your Time To Die!
A friend in Israel sent this video to me! It truly is remarkable.
Tough Tough Choices – Which do you prefer?
Tough Choices, But worry not!
The solution is at the bottom of the post!
Which do you prefer?
Towing a Mini Cooper – Good idea? – Sure! Why not?
It was 2005 and Cheryl and I had owned our Mini Cooper S since early 2003. For a couple of years we had been towing that poor little car behind our motor home and traveling great distances. Cars behind motor homes suffer as they are bomarded with stone chips, mud and other debris kicked up by the tow vehicle. Our Mini suffered a little more than most, primarily because of the idot driving the motor home.
Do you wear a toboggan?
It was a while back when Jody our younger daughter attended OU (Ohio University) in Athens Ohio. Athens is a university town in south eastern ohio. Jody was an undergrad with an interest in speech therapy. One of her assignments was to do a study of speech patterns and dialects within the state of Ohio. The paper she submitted was quite interesting and I got to read it during one of our visits to OU. She interviewed students at OU and she learned that terms like “kitty corner” and “catty corner” although perhaps universally understood are not spoken by everyone. In some parts of Ohio, we say ‘catty corner’ and in others we say ‘kitty corner’.
Good Fences make Good Neighbors!
Good fences make good neighbors, or so they say. We moved into a brand new subdivision in 1974, and that summer I organized a “fencing party” on our side of the street. We had the owners of about 10 homes over at our house one Saturday afternoon in the spring. The homes were all in one row on one side of the street. They backed onto a well established subdivision that had been built thirty or so years earlier. We discussed the need for fencing between our homes as some of us had dogs, some had children, etc. We discussed the advantages of wood vs. chain link, and we broke into committees with a plan to get back together the next week after researching costs and material choices, etc. The decision was made that we would build a cedar fence with horizontal planks alternating from post to post. There were one or two abstainers who got fences anyway as we were to build ours around them. Materials were purchased by the group and work began. The toughest weekend was the first where we mixed cement, cut posts, rented a motorized post hole auger, and about six or seven of us installed 160 four by four cedar fence posts. What an exhausting job that was!
19 Things it took me 50 years to learn.
I think I stole this list from someone who stole it from someone else who perhaps stole it from Dave Barry. Want proof [Click Here]
19 THINGS IT TOOK ME 50 YEARS TO LEARN
- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be “meetings.”
- There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness”.
- People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
- And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
- You should not confuse your career with your life.
- No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
- When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Never lick a steak knife.
- Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.
- The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.
- You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
- Never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she’s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
- There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
- The one thing that unites all human beings,regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above-average drivers.
- The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.
- A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.
- Your friends love you anyway.
